How to Win Life - 1st Edition
Preface
This was originally meant to be, "How to cultivate self-respect," but after reading it a bunch of times, it looked more like a life cheat code.
This is a first edition - I'm pretty sure more will come as I grow older (and hopefully wiser.)
I’m likely also going to make this a personal primer. Idk — we’ll see.
I'm only 23.
Without further ado, let's go.
Enjoy.
1. Set your values.
Have a creed.
Have your core values.
Faith
Love
Vision
Family
Valiance
Courage
Integrity
Dexterity
Hardwork
Community
Determination
Et cetera
Whatever works for you.
Don't negotiate them.
They are non-negotiable.
Don't compromise them.
Have a personal philosophy by which you live.
The older you grow, the more personalized your philosophy.
Understand it's susceptible to change as you progress throughout life.
2. Have a mission.
Set goals.
Big goals.
Audacious goals.
Life-changing goals.
Goals that change who you are as a person for the better.
Find an obsession.
"Obsession isn't something you tell yourself to start—it's something you force yourself to stop." ~Zach Pogrob.
Exploit a niche. There are millions around you.
Play the long game.
Play it long enough to see your magnified Future-You and start living by their standards.
If you don’t know what to do (yet), that’s okay.
Try.
Keep trying.
Try different things. Multiple things.
Because by not trying different things, you will never realize what you like vs what you don’t like.
And when you do realize what you like, your skills can always transfer to that in one form of another. (Think: Transferrable Skills.)
A man on a mission cannot be stopped.
Find something that will give your life meaning.
Set a lifelong goal for you to achieve within your lifespan.
Visualize it everyday. Pursue it daily, no matter the cost.
3. Do hard things.
Do the things people are scared to do.
Math
Chess
Fitness
Marathons
Consistency
Public speaking
Personal Finance
Hard Conversations
Etc.
Your 2.0 Self is on the other side of accomplishing something hard.
Life is hard already.
Choose your hard.
Good habits are hard.
Bad outcomes are also hard.
Refer to no. 8.
4. Put yourself first.
You can't fill from an empty cup.
Put yourself first, then you'll be in a better place to assist others.
"I'll take care of me for you if you take care of you for me." Jim Rohn.
You have to be at your full capacity first before being able to help others.
How can a car take you places if it's on E?
Of what use is a tired camel if it can't carry you?
How can you take a 3-hour call when your phone is on a five-minute charge?
You're not selfish for taking care of yourself and putting your needs first.
If you don't respect yourself, no one will respect you. And no one will do that for you.
If you put yourself down for others, they likely won't respect you or the help you give them.
5. Set your standards.
Aim high.
Don't settle for less.
Have your boundaries.
Raise your bare minimum.
Know your worth. Else, people will disrespect you.
Whatever your goal is, add 20% to it, then add 20% on top of that 20%.
Shoot for the galaxies, not the stars. Everyone can see the stars - few notice the galaxies.
6. Be self-accountable.
People don't like hearing, "It's on you."
Back your words up with actions. Few people master this.
You should ensure that you are indeed who you say you are.
Do the things you said you were gonna do when you said you were gonna do them.
If your alarm is for 7:00 AM, wake up at 7:00 AM.
If you were to attend a meeting at this time, attend the meeting at this time.
If you have three tasks to complete that day, complete those three tasks that day.
Own up, accept responsibility for your shortcomings, and make amends. Fewer people do this.
7. Take care of yourself.
A more subtle way to self-care.
Prioritize all aspects important to you.
Physically.
Don't drink.
Don't smoke.
Proper nutrition.
Rest when needed.
Work out regularly.
Get a good night's sleep.
Prioritize physical fitness.
Protect your health and well-being.
Drugs aren't good. Stay away from them.
Financially.
Have a good income.
Live under your means.
Ensure positive cashflow.
Secure your investments and retirement accounts.
Career.
Find your Ikigai.
Find your mission. (See no. 1.)
Corporate isn't for everyone. Neither is entrepreneurship or freelance.
Do what fits you.
Ensure you're doing something meaningful with your life—a meaningful job.
It's what you do in these 80-or-so God-given years that brings fulfillment to your life.
Socially.
Have mentors.
They're a cheat code.
Have a support system.
Amass a personal board of advisors.
Keep your family and friends close.
You need the right people in your circle.
Gather a tribe of soldiers and kinsmen around you, not leeches.
Nurture the right relationships because life is 80% relationships.
Spiritually.
Practice your faith. Live it.
Make yourself right with God. See no. 13.
Ensure you're spiritually attuned with yourself.
It's an eternal battle between the flesh vs the spirit.
Mentally.
Read good books.
Have positive affirmations.
Be careful what you feed your mind.
Your self-talk.
The apps you scroll.
What you see everyday.
The media you consume.
The people you surround yourself with.
Et cetera.
Stress isn't worth it.
Don't bag it.
Don't stress yourself.
It shortens your lifespan.
Practice gratitude - It could've been worse.
Your mental health is more important than you think.
It won't matter in three months. Don't fuss about it now.
8. Practice self-awareness.
Know your limits.
Be brutally honest with yourself.
Understand what you can and cannot do.
If you can do something, do it. If you can't, don't.
Let others know upfront what your capabilities are.
Self-awareness is a good pivot point to start challenging your limits. See no. 9.
Self-awareness will come at the cost of disappointing others because you won't fulfill their expectations of you.
That's okay so long as you fulfill your own.
Check no. 10.
9. Challenge yourself everyday.
Question everything.
Challenge your limits.
You are your limits. Raise them.
Challenge your beliefs.
Evolve first before life forces you to.
Relocation is a good life hack - It literally forces you out of your comfort zone.
Do the things you said you couldn't do - Things you never thought you could do.
If you don't challenge yourself, life will challenge you...and more so beyond your limits.
Do the things they said you couldn't. Do it twice; thrice just to make sure, and take pictures.
10. Constantly reflect on yourself.
Embrace growth.
Embrace learning.
Embrace self-mastery.
Foster a growth mindset.
You're never gonna have it all figured out.
That's okay. Nobody does.
You're always a work in progress. Accept that.
There are always lessons to tell your:
10-year-old self
17-year-old self
34-year-old self
50-year-old self
71-year-old self.
Continue reflecting on and learning about yourself.
Refer back to no. 8.
11. Have a life of your own.
Have your pastimes.
Live life on your terms.
Have your own hobbies.
Be unique. Be authentic. Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.
It's okay for others to ridicule you for not going out Friday night and choosing instead to stay in by the fireplace and reading a good book.
12. Don't force things.
Let things be.
Embrace stoicism.
Don't force relationships.
Don't force circumstances.
Don't force life to happen.
What will happen will happen. The people who will stay will stay.
The universe repels neediness - neediness is unattractive. It's repulsive.
Don't force anyone to stay in your life who has clearly shown they don't want to.
13. God above all.
Acknowledging the presence of God puts you in your place.
At any moment, your achievements could be wiped out in the blink of an eye if God says so.
When you read the Bible, you will relate to many characters whom God led just like you:
Judges: Gideon, Deborah, Samson, etc.
Prophets: Moses, Elijah, Jeremiah, etc.
You're walking the same path as the men and women of the past. Put God first.
TLDR
Set your values.
Have a mission.
Do hard things.
Put yourself first.
Set your standards.
Be self-accountable.
Take care of yourself.
Practice self-awareness.
Challenge yourself everyday.
Constantly reflect on yourself.
Have a life of your own.
Don't force things.
God above all.
.
.
.
~T.K.K
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